There are those who will tell you that refusing to sacrifice yourself for others is selfish. I will tell you that it’s necessary. Your dreams don’t have to die so that others can live out theirs. If you spend your life living for someone or something else, then what’s left when those things are gone? Many of us sacrifice ourselves to our jobs, our families, to a partner, to all of those things and more. I’m not saying don’t live for others, but honor yourself first. If you can’t nourish your own soul, you can’t possibly feed others and have no business trying to.
The problem is, many of us are stuck. We’re stuck waiting for someone or something else to come along and save us because we don’t believe we have the courage or the means to save ourselves. We’ve been playing dead for so long we’ve come to believe that we can’t come back. But being your own hero doesn’t have to mean going it alone. Sometimes we need someone else to believe in us first, to see the strength within and show us what we’re capable of. Sometimes we need to ask for help or just be willing to accept help when it’s offered. Trust is key to building a genuine support network. That can be difficult to manage when you’ve known so little of it. It’s a huge risk, but ultimately worth it. A single spark. That’s all it takes to ignite the fire of courage, to believe in yourself and in the kindness and love of others.
For the longest time, the only thing keeping me alive was my son, but it was a half-life. I was a ghost. Over the past year, I have learned to love myself and, moreover, to understand that if I don’t value that self enough to genuinely nurture it, I’m sending the wrong message to my son. To truly live for him, I have to live for me. That means listening to my soul and trusting that intuition, faith, and love will guide me. For those of you reading this for whom it resonates, know that you don’t have to stay dead either. You can come back like I did, but do it for yourself. Live for you.